This month we a lucky enough to feature an article by Carinne Mossa the founder of It Takes a Village Special Needs Parent Coaching LLC. Read more about Carinne at the end of this article and be sure to check out their website!
Read Time: 5 min
As warmer weather begins to settle in across the country, it feels like the perfect time to turn our attention to a different kind of spring cleaning—one that starts within our mindset as special needs parents. There’s something about the renewal of spring that invites us to take a closer look at what we’ve been carrying. If you’ve ever pruned a plant, you know it can feel… a little unsettling. Cutting back healthy branches. Removing growth that once felt important. For a moment, it can even look like you’ve done damage. But experienced gardners know that pruning isn’t destruction. It’s preparation. It creates space for new growth, renewed strength, and a healthier, more vibrant season ahead.
Three Things to Prune from Your Mindset This Spring
1. Pruning the Pressure to Be “Excellent” at Everything
Advocating. Career. Household management. Marriage. Parenting multiple children. Friendships. Self-care.
Somewhere along the way, many of us absorb the message that we’re supposed to do all of it—and do it well. It’s exhausting. And more importantly, it’s unsustainable.
This is where THE P.A.U.S.E. comes in as a daily reset:
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- P– Prayer: Ground yourself spiritually.
- A– Attune: Notice your body and emotions.
- U– Uncover: Identify what truly matters today.
- S– Simplify: Focus on 1–3 meaningful priorities.
- E– Entrust: Release the rest to God, the Universe, the Higher Power of your own understanding.
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You don’t need to be excellent at everything. You need to be aligned with what matters most.
And in many ways, the journey of special needs parenting mirrors this process. When your child is first diagnosed, it can feel like something has been cut away—expectations, plans, the vision you once held. It’s natural to focus on what’s been lost. But over time, with a wider lens, something else begins to emerge…a new perspective, a deeper resilience, a capacity for growth you may never have discovered otherwise.
This spring, I want to gently invite you into your own season of pruning—not from a place of lack, but from a place of intention. Read on for three areas where I see parents being called to prune. And remember, pruning can feel uncomfortable at first, but what you’re really doing is making space— for peace, for clarity, for growth that is rooted, sustainable, and true. And you don’t have to do it all at once. Just start with one small surrender.
2. Pruning the “Bulldog” Mindset
If I had a dime for every time a parent told me they needed a “bulldog” advocate in meetings with the school… I would have a very large pile of dimes.
I understand where this comes from. We love our children. We want to protect them. We want results.
But approaching every interaction from a place of force can unintentionally create distance, turning what could be collaboration into conflict. When that happens, progress often slows, or stalls entirely.
This spring, I encourage you to consider a different posture: Firm, informed, clear, but also open, strategic, and most importantly, collaborative.
The caveat: If your child is being harmed—through seclusion, restraint, negligence, or other egregious violations of their rights—that is the moment for the bulldog. That is when urgency and intensity (and oftentimes, a special education attorney) are not only appropriate, but necessary. That said, outside of those moments, connection and partnership will take you much further than force ever will.
3. Pruning the Timeline You’ve Set for Your Child
This one can feel especially hard.
We are constantly surrounded by benchmarks, expectations, and subtle (or not-so-subtle) comparisons. It’s easy to feel like we need to push, accelerate, and keep our children “on track.”
But what if where your child is right now is exactly where they need to be?
Spring flowers don’t bloom because the calendar says it’s time. They bloom when they are ready. Growth is not linear. Development is not a race. And your child’s timeline does not need to mirror anyone else’s to be meaningful, valid, and worthy of celebration.
This season, I invite you to take a step back. To breathe. To observe your child with fresh eyes. Not for what’s “next”, but for who they are, right now.
Pruning creates space—not just for growth, but for something more sustainable to take root. That is the heart behind The P.E.A.C.E. Protocol® for Medically Complex Parenting. Through 1:1 virtual coaching, we work together to develop your Parent IEP (Individualized Endurance Plan)—a deeply personalized approach designed to help you find peace, restore balance, and prevent caregiver burnout so you can sustain yourself for the long journey ahead. If you’re ready to begin, I invite you to visit www.ittakesavillagenc.com.
P.S. If you’ve been feeling stretched too thin, overwhelmed, or unsure how to keep going at this pace—your Parent IEP is where we begin. It’s not about doing more; it’s about creating a way forward that truly supports you.
About Carinne Mossa
Carinne Mossa is the founder of It Takes a Village Special Needs Parent Coaching LLC and a dedicated advocate for families navigating the complexities of raising children with special needs. A former elementary educator with degrees in education, psychology, and communications, Carinne’s journey was forever shaped by her son’s diagnoses of Dravet Syndrome and Autism. She is the creator of the trademarked P.E.A.C.E. Protocol® for Medically Complex Parenting, a signature framework designed to help caregivers move from overwhelm to sustainable, grounded support. With a blend of professional expertise and personal experience, Carinne empowers parents to confidently navigate medical and educational systems to secure the best outcomes for their children. Through coaching, writing, and speaking, she is committed to creating a world where every family feels supported and equipped to thrive.
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